[dropcap]M[/dropcap]e too. Two very simple words that can mean nearly nothing without context. However, these two words now carry power with them. With many sexual assault cases against numerous celebrities coming to light, sexual assault has taken center stage in Hollywood. Now, we even have these accusations moving past hollywood and into the government and the news. Al Franken, a U.S. Senator for Minnesota, and Matt Lauer, a former co-host for “Today” were both accused of sexual assault and have felt the consequences that have followed.

It is thanks to the #Metoo movement that these accusations have come to light. Without them, these rapists and sexual abusers, as covered by Sarah Almukhtar, Michael Gold and Larry Buchanan at The New York Times, would still be out there and hurting other men and women.

Another example of people rallying together is #WhenIWas. Abc News took a look at #WhenIWas, which shows examples of when women were told it was their fault at incredibly young ages. Rebecca Sims tweets, “#wheniwas 15 a waiter discreetly stuck his hand up my skirt and whispered in my ear. Family told me I didn’t know how to handle a compliment.” Sims is not alone in this situation. So many women are constantly blamed for something they couldn’t control.

The person who violates the other is able to make a decision not to. The victim has no control. When someone makes a statement like that, the victim is hurt. Rape culture destroys the victim, it makes them feel like they are helpless and like they are no longer in control of their life.

This needs to stop.

Unfortunately, this is not how society views this situation. They tell the victim that it was their fault. They ask, “What were you wearing that night?” or “How much had you been drinking that day?” These aren’t uncommon opinions, either. Certain people in society constantly find ways to make the victim at fault.

What is Rape Culture?

In order to take down rape culture, people need to know what it is and some examples of it. Victim blaming is one of the more common aspects of rape culture.  Despite feeling like people may blame for no good reason, psychology actually plays a large role in who victim blames. An article from The New York Times by Laura Niemi and Liane Young analyzes those who blame the victim.

Image by Raleigh on Flickr

According to Niemi and Young, those who value loyalty, obedience, and purity, over fairness and caring qualities are more likely to blame the victim. They said those who value the latter of the qualities are more likely to see rape as an act between a victim and perpetrator. The victim being the one who is hurt, and the perpetrator being the one who is doing the hurting.

Niemi and Young conducted several studies. They asked 994 participants what they thought of the victims of certain crimes. These crimes included both sexual and non-sexual crimes. They provided small descriptions of the crime and asked if the victims of these crimes were “injured” or if they were “contaminated.” Most of the participants said that the victims of sexual crimes were “contaminated” rather than being “injured.”

They also found that those who believed more strongly in purity, obedience, and loyalty were more likely to state a rape or harassment victim as contaminated.

When they tried again with detailed descriptions of robbery and rape, later asking how at fault the victim was for their situation, they found similar results. Those who said the victim was contaminated, said both robbery and rape victims were responsible for the outcomes. [perfectpullquote align=”right” bordertop=”false” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]Rape Culture isn’t just the fact that rapes exist and happen, it is the dismissal of those that it happens to.[/perfectpullquote]

Meanwhile, those who valued fairness and caring for others said the perpetrator was at fault for both crimes. Victim blaming isn’t necessarily something a person can immediately decide if they do or not. Since similar views are found throughout all victim blamers, victim blamers instead have to take a step towards realizing that those who are sexually assaulted are not those at fault.

However, victim blaming can only be described as a small part of rape culture. According to “This is Rape Culture – and Look at the Damage it Does”, an article by Laura Bates, rape culture can be defined as “[A] culture in which rape and sexual assault are common […] It describes a culture in which dominant social norms belittle, dismiss, joke about or even seem to condone rape and sexual assault.” When looking into this definition, there is a conclusion that seems to relate to all the world.

One of the few cultures the entire world shares is rape culture. A culture meant to belittle and hurt other people.

However, people don’t seem to understand the true effects of rape culture until they hear the true stories of true victims. Hundreds of men and women tweeted at @EverydaySexism and shared their stories.

Tweet by @Despairbunny

There is no better way to say it than the way Laura Bates stated it. Rape culture implies that men have a right to women’s bodies.

Tweet by @Sarah_Watsons

Rape Culture is teaching girls to cover up or to put keys between their knuckles when walking alone at night instead of teaching boys that no means no.

Tweet by @Frostbite__

This isn’t uncommon, either. Many people don’t report when they get raped. According to the US department of Justice, an estimated 65 percent of people don’t go to the police after they’ve been raped or sexually assaulted. All because they are afraid that someone will tell them that they wanted it.

However, a common misconception is that rape culture directly causes rape. This is not true. Those who are against rape culture can recognize that rape culture is not the only cause for rape. Caroline Kitchens from Time Magazine makes this mistake. She says that rape culture is censoring art and turning all boys into rapists. What she is unable to recognize is the fact that there is nothing in rape culture that points to that.

This is because while, yes, rape culture does deal with rape, it is not only rape. Rape culture revolves around the experiences of women and men who have been assaulted by another person or have felt violated by another person. So unfortunately, we often have to deal with those misinformed people. However, rather than yelling at them, educate them. Allow them to learn from what they didn’t know.

No matter what, when we pull away whatever society uses to cover up it’s mishaps, we see that people, both men and women, are too often used for the pleasure of others.

That is what rape culture is. Rape Culture isn’t just the fact that rapes exist and happen, it is the dismissal of those that it happens to.

What Are Rape Culture’s Effects?

Every day, victims of rape are surrounded by the words used against them. You might ask why that is, but in all honesty, you don’t have to look further than the President of the United States. Yes, to most it is not a surprise that he is only promoting rape culture, whether it’s conscious or not. Arwa Mahdawi from The Guardian took a look into Donald Trump’s history when he was simply a candidate. To keep it simple, it wasn’t pretty.

Donald Trump has a famous line that has mostly been swept under the rug. In an off-camera remark on Access Hollywood, Trump states, “When you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything… grab them by the” I’m sure you can finish the sentence. Donald Trump later described this as “locker room talk” and also said his actions were “just words folks. It’s just words.”

That’s the problem. Donald Trump is not ashamed of what his actions really mean. Now imagine being a rape victim living in the United States, only to hear the President talk about women like objects. He treats them with no respect. To a rape victim, that’s their worst nightmare.

An article from USA Today by Alia Dastiger says that 81 percent of women report significant long and short term impacts of rape. One of the largest being PTSD, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Now imagine someone who supports “locker room talk” being elected for President. What does that do to a person’s already hurt mental state? It only validates the doubts that they may have been experiencing.

To the victim, their beliefs are confirmed. They think others believe that they asked for it and that they wanted it.

Dean Kilpatrick, PH.D. works for the CDC and he did some research that confirms even more of these heartbreaking impacts. The article states that rape victims are 4.1 times more likely to contemplate suicide than non-victims of violent crimes and 13 times more likely to attempt suicide.

Image by Pixabay

If these are just the effects of rape, then what happens when a constant reminder of what happened is set? It’s triggering. When men on the street whistle at you and throw out what they call “compliments,” the victims are only reminded of their experiences. However, this doesn’t only affect women. Men go through the same problems, only they are often denied any form of acceptance from anyone.

I’m sure you’ve heard someone say “men can’t be raped” and up until a few years ago, I was under that same impression. It’s not true, though. CNN author Emanuella Grinberg reports that one in six men have experienced sexual abuse before reaching the age of 18. Along with that, according to the CDC, one in 59 men in the United States have been raped in their life.

[perfectpullquote align=”right” bordertop=”false” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]To the victim, their beliefs are confirmed. They think others believe that they asked for it and that they wanted it.[/perfectpullquote]

Grinberg covers the story of Adam, a man who was raped by his uncle from the ages of 14 to 18. Adam explains his story, and he talks about how he thought that was his uncle’s way of loving him. He also talks of the shame and guilt he felt afterwards. Afterall, he was a man, shouldn’t have been able to fight him off? It took years, but eventually Adam found a way to become a survivor and learn that he wasn’t weak because of that. In fact, he was strong for pushing through it.

Image by Pexels.

Adam now knows he is strong, but back then, his thoughts were overcome with a side-effect of rape culture. He was a man afterall, and men are strong and are supposed to be able to defend themselves and not be taken advantage of. At least, this is what rape culture told Adam. However, nothing could be more false. Despite what rape culture says, men are allowed to be vulnerable. Humans are vulnerable, and men are humans. Rape culture is just teaching the wrong thing.

So, if rape culture is teaching the wrong thing. We need to stop it.

How Do We End Rape Culture Once And For All?

Ending rape culture starts with us. All of us. Recognizing it is the first step, and congratulations, you’ve already done it. By reading this article, you’ve most likely already recognized that it exists. Now, you need to recognize it when it happens.

Make a point to call out objectification and rape culture. There are plenty of shows and movies that use women and rape culture as a joke or a way to pull in views. Now, you don’t have to stop watching these shows. Just know that it’s there, and teach yourself and others that it is not okay to do those things, even when those shows make it seem like stuff is.

Participate in twitter conversations. Just in this post, three different twitter trends were cited. #MeToo is still going on today. Just recently a story about Melanie Martinez came out. It’s never to late to join the conversation or to simply observe it.

Lastly, don’t blame the victim. It happens all too often, and in the end it only makes the situation worse. The rape victim never deserves to be raped. They are never wearing something too promiscuous, they are never too drunk, and they are never too stupid to have left themselves alone with someone they once trusted.

According to an article on Washington Post by Kara Eschbach, 82 percent of rapes are committed by someone the victim knows. These people are probably someone that the victim trusted. If a victim isn’t even allowed to trust their friends, then rape culture has truly taken over society.

So take a step back, don’t call out to people on the street, don’t ask what they were wearing that night, and don’t tell someone that they don’t know how to take a compliment. In the end, it’s the rapist who does the raping. Not the victim.

Featured Image by Pixabay