Most of us are liars, we put on an act that the honest to god truth should come before all else and that every other factor should start to falter in comparison. However, when faced with a dangerous truth, it would be a safe bet that a strong majority of us would prefer to stay in the dark. Some secrets of the world are so well protected and so well guarded that anybody striving to understand the facts behind them will end up in an inhospitable harsh world caused by the powers that be. Some of us don’t follow suit, some brave souls search the globe to find the real truth of what’s actually going on in our day to day lives. It’s amazing how much truth can be hidden from the public in this modern day and age.

I’m referring of course to “Canada”.

             Would he really lie to you?

Throughout history the Canadian myth has remained prevalent in global pop culture infesting itself within everything from Film to Music. Even in this day and age of world changing inventions such as GPS and the Internet, which should have successfully disproved this cover up ages ago, it persists. Originally areas in the Newfoundland region such as L’Anse aux Meadows were supposedly settled by the Vikings  around the year 1000 BC because even murderers and rapists need hobbies. Although it’s easy to consider ancient documents almost undeniable evidence, it’s important to remember that the Norse factions of the time such as the Vikings were known for tricking people geographically; such as when they “allegedly” misled people into settling the barren ice of Greenland. Nobody can truly know what the Vikings motivation was for fooling so many people into believing this Mythical land of moose and men, but any historical documents regarding their reasoning is long gone making its questioning moot. Although we may never solve that mystery, there is one thing we know perfectly well, even a nation as influential and powerful as the Vikings had no way to keep this story going forever, somebody else had to take charge. and that somebody was the British Empire…and the French, but nobody really cares about them so mainly the British Empire.

We’re all familiar with the British colonization of America, the 13 colonies rebelling for freedom, Protesters throwing out English tea in a historically iconic moment, Drunk rioters, but that’s not the full story.  The Thirteen colonies weren’t very profitable to the Redcoats. The citizens were protesting taxes. not to mention that exporting goods across an ocean was beginning to become an exercise in futility as Americans began to destroy and steal England’s trade goods. There were only two reasons to keep the 13 colonies under British rule. Clearly prestige was important at the time and losing their grasp in the new world would be a global embarrassment, especially to their French rivals, but the more important factor was the unrestricted fishing and whaling with only “light french competition” throughout the rest of the continent. Clearly these two countries couldn’t let others European powers in on the resources. France and Britain were still bitter rivals, but kept an uneasy agreement of secrecy and shared the takes, although that doesn’t mean that the Canadian ocean stayed completely peaceful. Eventually France got tired of the British taking control of what was “rightfully French oceans”~King Louis XVI (probably), and decided to work with the colonies in a rebellion that changed the fabric of history as we know it.

America, the greatest country in the world, universally loved,and a beacon of capitalistic freedom, but not everything can be so incredible. Our beloved United States continues to hold the same dark secret that haunted the English and French back in the 1700’s and we all suffer for it. After the revolution occurred our government held the same greed that anybody else would, we wanted the valuable oceanic resources to stimulate our suffering war time economy which was desperately needed for the newly founded republic. Thankfully the U.S was given a golden opportunity, their old companions the French decided to go take over Europe or something and needed funding to keep up an army, so they offered to sell Louisiana for only $15 million ($233 million in modern currency). The small republic’s ambitions grew three sizes that day as they gained 828,000 square miles including all the ocean’s luxury trade goods they could ever dream of. Now only one other foreign power held any grasp over northern North America, and that’s the Russians who were close to fully colonizing Alaska; thankfully they eventually caved and let us purchase their land too.  In modern day North America the US of A retains complete control over roughly 3.855 million square miles of ocean to do whatever they please.

Nobody dares to compete.

After people began to question the authenticity of this so called “Canadian” nation it became apparent that steps must be taken to ensure the Republic’s glorious victory of it’s northern territory. A puppet government would have to suffice which created a trend of hiring actors to serve as prime minister; something that still occurs to this day such as with a young unknown actor by the name of Justin Trudeau who’s only previous experience was in a mediocre made for TV movie called The Great War.  Inside of this movie Trudeau’s character (Talbot Papineau) even foreshadowed the young mans rise to power by having a superior officer expect him to become prime minister someday. Seven years later he began his reign over Canada.

This cannot be a coincidence.

Seriously, who thought this was a good idea?

Throughout the years of human existence the number of people who can easily turn a blind eye to the issues at hand never ceases to be amazing. Maybe it’s better not knowing as those who preach the truth just get titled as crazy and get locked up. The world holds no sympathy for the good Samaritans. Some may consider it sad, but it’s almost funny in it’s own mildly terrifying way, an entire country created by the greed of corporate and government entities. Perhaps someday people may begin to look beyond their own needs and speak up for the good of mankind, yet it doesn’t look like that day will come any time soon.

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photoshop by: Michael. S. Bergerson