Having The Talk With Your Parents

[dropcap]T[/dropcap]alks with your parents can be super uncomfortable and nerve racking. One of the most memorable discussions I have had with my Dad was when his opening line was, “I know you aren’t as innocent as you seem, which means you just haven’t got caught yet”.

[perfectpullquote align=”right” bordertop=”false” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]Right there I knew this conversation was going to take a turn, and I was right. [/perfectpullquote]

Right there I knew this conversation was going to take a turn, and I was right. The chat turned into one that teens always dread, a sex, drug and alcohol talk. The hardest part of the conversation was talking about sex, probably because the conversation was with my Dad. The drug and alcohol part was nerve racking because I was unsure on why is was being brought up. Overall the whole lecture was very impactful, seeing my parents outlooks and perspective on things.

Even though it was one of the worst conversations I have ever had, It showed me the importance of being open and talking about serious topics with my parents. I hope after reading this you too will realize the significance of talking to your parents about sexual relations, alcohol and drug use.

Let’s Talk About Sex Baby Let’s Talk About You And Me

An article published by Planned Parenthood has shown that most teens, about 50% don’t feel comfortable talking to their parents about sex. It is important to realize your parent or guardian also feels uncomfortable discussing the topic. About 19% of parents don’t want to have this chat.

[perfectpullquote align=”full” bordertop=”false” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]Even though it may be uncomfortable at the time you could want to thank your parents later for the “bird and the bees” talk .[/perfectpullquote]

Between 1998 and 2013, the United states government has spent roughly 899 million dollars to support abstinence talks in schools. If you think about it that is a lot of school funding going into one sector of health education. Scientific and sociological research has shown that abstinence- only programs have little to no effect on teenagers mind set about sex. Meaning the sex education in schools isn’t impacting the students like it should. The failure of sexual education is shown in teen pregnancy rates, the U.S Department Of Health And Human Services claims that the United States teen pregnancy rates are the lower than ever. But the United States still has a higher pregnancy rate then Canada and Great Britain. The failure of our schools to educate teens, leaves the job to the parents. At school teens are taught factual things, what an STD is, how to have safe sex, etcetera.

Image By: Laura Tourdot and Nikki Jorda

But the schools won’t help make the decisions for the students, they will just provide them with the scientific facts about sexual relations.

When teens talk to their parents about sex they are informed on what their parents boundaries are for them, during the discussion you may also start to develop your own thoughts about your boundaries. It is much easier to get along with your parents or guardians if you know what they expect from you. That is why it is beneficial to have these talks with your parents, then you will know if your parents are okay with you having sexual relationships.

You will also know what types of protections your parents will provide or let you have; birth control, condoms, etcetera. Studies have also shown that parents are the most influential factors in their kids lives. Most of the time outweighing any other source, meaning that even if kids are talked to about sexual relations they won’t ever take it seriously unless their parents bring it up too.

I interviewed a few teens from my school to see if they had any stories worth sharing from talking with their parents about sex. Most of them were weary of me putting their responses in my blog because they were worried that their parents would see their responses. Seeing this reaction showed me that teens are afraid of being honest with their parents.  When I asked my peer Kendra Lingman what surprised her after talking to her parents about sex she replied with “I was shocked with how understanding my Mom was with the subject”. Ultimately showing that not all parents are going to yell at you or be unsupportive.

Overall teenagers should talk to their parents about sex because it isn’t morally talked about in schools, and it will build a better relationship between the teen and the parent by knowing what they expect from each other.

Party Till You Puke

 I have talked about partying and puking with my parents more times then I would like to admit. Most teens also have talked to their parents about the effects of alcohol, statistics from Elk River High School showed that about 81% of  Sophomore students have talked to their parents about the effects of alcohol.

The legal age to consume alcohol in Minnesota is 21, but that doesn’t seem to stop high school students. Reportaly 1 in 3 high schoolers have drank alcohol. The reason behind this may be because drinking is shown as a social activity making it more popularized in high schools. While drinking you feel more at ease and less inhibited, meaning it is easier to enjoy social interactions therefore drinking is most common at parties.

Image by: Laura LaRose

Talking to your parents about alcohol may be a little awkward, but it is worth your time. When I discussed the topic with my parents I was completely comfortable just like the other 70% of my peers. During the conversation my parents were very understanding about all the pressures to drink alcohol, because they have already been through high school. The most important part of the conversation was them telling me to be honest with them. Yes they told me I would get in trouble for drinking, but they also told me I would get in bigger trouble if I was to lie about it or drive home while intoxicated.

Teens nowadays don’t tell their parents things because they are afraid of getting in trouble, all the while 76% percent of teens claim they have a good relationship with their parents. By being open and talking to my parents about alcohol, they began to trust me more.

Generally speaking teens would get an advantage from being honest with their parents. They would seem to be more trustworthy and mature in their parents eyes if they began to be more truthful. I am not saying that you should go up to your parents and tell them everything you dislike about them, no, i’m saying if you start telling them things about your life you will gain a new bond of trust. Tell them yes I am going to a party, yes there might be alcohol there, just so you know. Sometimes your parents aren’t always going to react the way you think. Most parents will be genuinely impressed if you come forward with the truth.

[perfectpullquote align=”full” bordertop=”false” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]Your parents number one job is to protect you and help you grow up. [/perfectpullquote]

Personally my parents believed that talking with me about alcohol helped to keep me safe ; “We would rather come pick you up at 3 AM instead of you driving home drunk, yes we will be mad about it but we will try not to yell at you that night”.

By having a conversation about alcohol with your parents you will know what they want you to do if you are too intoxicated to drive home. You guys could talk about, calling an uber, calling them as in your parents to come get you or  talk about always having a designated driver. Either way you and your parents will have a thought out plan if that was to ever happen, creating a sort of safety net.

All things considered talking to your parents about alcohol can build your trust relationship with them,and help keep you safe. Get over your shyness and become more truthful with you parents.

Drug Rug Status

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7NRjiT8esQ

Once I bought my first drug rug, my parents weren’t skeptical at all on if I was using drugs. They understood it was some sort of fashion statement and that I really didn’t hide marijuana in one of the secret pockets. Even though I bought a sweatshirt that symbolizes drug use my parents didn’t assume that I was using drugs because we had a serious conversation about it. It is important to realize that drug use today is misunderstood, these days teens don’t take drug abuse seriously.

Most adolescents learn their knowledge of drug use from their peers who usually say it’s unharmful. Ultimately meaning that teens won’t understand the harms of drugs unless their parent or guardian talks to them about it. Statistics from Elk River High School show that 82.7%  of Sophomores have talked to their parents about drug use, but the survey also showed that 85.9% of them thought it was unnecessary.

Without talking to your parents about drug use you wouldn’t truly know what to expect. Our parents have been through high school and have faced the struggles of peer pressure and know how easy it is to get involved with drugs or alcohol. By talking to your parents about it you can hear their stories of high school and how they overcame or how they got through it and give you advice on how to keep yourself healthy and unharmed.

By talking to your parents about drug use you will know what the best options are because your parents have been through high school and you will also be more educated on the topic. [perfectpullquote align=”full” bordertop=”false” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]To clarify teens don’t want to talk to their parents about sex, drugs or alcohol because it makes them uncomfortable.[/perfectpullquote]

Featured image By: Imagens Evangélicas, Taric Alani, PNGimg.com