Picture by: mintchipsdesigns
I hate complaining.
Well, maybe not hate, but it is pretty annoying sometimes. It’s too hot, it’s too cold, it’s too in between. One thing after another. It seems like no matter the conditions or who we are, we humans love to complain about, well, almost anything. Here’s a short breakdown of why we do it, why too much can be bad, and how you can stop most of your complaining,
A Brief History
We have almost always complained. Whether it was Adam and Eve upset that they didn’t get to eat from the tree of life, or the rich people of today complaining of slow internet and restaurant service, we always seem to find some small thing to lament about. We do it for a variety of reasons…
Let off steam
We mainly complain because it makes us feel better about what is going on in life.
Think about it. Ever had a lot of homework one night, and so complained about how unfair it is to your friends? Complaining helps us to let out built up steam we have about something that is bothering us. It also helps when you complain to another person because then you can share life’s troubles with them. It helps us validate our complaint, like saying ‘It sucks, don’t you agree’. Although, telling your bedroom that you have a lot of math and hate it, can help ease your mind as well.
Another reason people complain is because it’s easy to do, and helps create a relation to others.
For example, not sure how to start a conversation? You could talk about weather or sports, or complain. Most of us find common ground in that we become annoyed with the small things in life.
We grow up hearing the adults in our lives complain about stuff we don’t understand, and that helps create in us the habit to complain when something happens that we don’t like.
As babies we complain because that’s how we get noticed, and get fed. That carries over toddler hood for the same basic reason, and continues on and on. After we’ve been doing it for a while, we don’t even notice that we’re doing it anymore.
Another reason find to complain, is that it offers up excuses for things, like being late or having no time. It’s easier for most people to complain about being to busy or having to many responsibilities than to find extra time and use there time better. The thing is, you likely do have time.
Just like the guy in the video stated, if you manage your time right, you probably have plenty of time to do stuff.
Complaining Causes Pessimism
The problem with complaining is that it can cause a pessimistic outlook if you do it too much. When you over-complain it causes your brain to begin looking at most things in a way that looks for only the downside. And that is in no way healthy for you mentally, or socially.
Complaining Does No Good
Constant complaining doesn’t really help a bad or tough situation. All it does is to slow down work on a possible solution and come up with excuses, all combining in the end to the problem still being there, time wasted, and in the long run likely increased frustration. So, how can we stop the complaints then?
So Stop the complaining
There are a few different ways you can try and minimize your daily complaining.
Be mindful of what you say. Think about things before you say them, and if they are negative or not. If they are negative, then don’t say them! Also, be mindful of who you are talking to. If they can help out in a currently stressful situation, ask them for the help you need. Finally, be mindful of other conversation starters and fillers, such as current events or something you saw on television last night that you thought was interesting.
Making a list of the things you see as good and/or that make you happy (like puppies for example) can help, and when you feel like complaining, look at it and smile. You can also find out the things that you really enjoy, and when you feel like complaining, if possible, take a break and do them to help you relax.
Instead of complaining about what you can’t fix, focus on what you can fix. If it’s cold out and you feel like venting about it, go out and buy a warm outfit and a hot drink to heat you up. Upset with the evil in the world? Be a beacon of light to those around you and try donating to good causes, and volunteering. No matter the situation, there is almost always something that you can do for the better, if not yourself, then others.
It’s okay if you complain sometimes, it’s part of what keeps us mentally in balance. The main thing is to try and limit it to one or two times a day.