If You Like it, then You Should Put a Ring on It First

About 1 in 30 Americans wait until marriage to have sex. Out of the 3% who do wait, 60% are women and the other 40% are men.


Image from Waiting Till Marriage


Sex Hungry Nation

Today’s world is filled with sex-hungry people. Most don’t even have a realistic idea of what it is. Since the beginning of 2014, there have been over 1.6 billion searches for pornography, and still counting, according to an article published in Covenant Eyes. That means over 1.6 billion people have a warped vision of what sex is supposed to look like and make you feel like.

There are positive things that come with abstinence, but, like everything, there is also a downside to it. Everyone knows that sex leads to babies, so why would someone risk doing that to themselves when they’re not prepared to be a parent? Some people may answer, “Why not? Everyone else is doing it.” Well, they’re not technically wrong. James Coyne, Ph. D says in one of the articles he wrote, 70-90% of adolescents have sex by the age of 18. What they might not think about is that STD’s or STI’s are a possible outcome of this action, especially if they’re not using protection, said by Smart Sex Resource. According to an article based on the STDs in America, just over 1.2 million people had Chlamydia, and 300,000 had Gonorrhea in 2009 in America. More than half of all people will have an STD or STI at some point in their life. Their chances of getting either of those decreases if they just wait until they’re married.

 It’s Not Easy

But waiting for something that everyone else has isn’t always an easy thing. People will often pressure others and think of them differently because they’re not exactly like them; they’re different, maybe even weird. So why would someone put themselves through those things instead of just going with the flow? It’s easier isn’t it?

Absolutely correct, it is a lot easier to just go along with what everyone else is doing, but it isn’t worth it. Going with the flow is the easy route, and it may be fun for a while, but at some point in their life, they’re going to want to settle down and get a good job, maybe even start a family. Abstinence gives them the opportunity to do those things, and they can be prepared for it.

It’ll be More Stable

Even though abstinence isn’t a very hot topic in today’s world, it’s important. In an article written by Laura Roberts, Psychologists found couples that waited rated the stability of their relationships 22% higher than those who didn’t, 20% increased levels of relationship satisfaction and 12% better communication between them. Dr. Busby also says that those who wait have a more stable relationship. So the question people have to answer for themselves is, are they going to be impatient, or are they willing to wait? 

Coming From Experience

Many people I’ve talked to on this topic who hadn’t waited told me how they wish they had. For example, a friend of the family, her name is Jenn. She told me how she was unsuccessfully abstinent. Jenn said that arguments can establish if the topic comes up with her spouse. Also, she told me how for a while she felt guilty for doing what she did, and not waiting like she should have. She was young, and made a choice she could never take back. Abstinence gives people the ability to mature and really understand what it is all about.

What’s the Point?

I don’t get why someone would give themselves to someone who they might not spend the rest of their lives with. It doesn’t make sense to me. But I understand why some people don’t wait, the world doesn’t want to. They want to do whatever they want, whenever they want. And if it’s anything other than that, they think it’s weird or wrong. So people need to change their thoughts, not conform to the ways of the world, be their own person and make choices that will benefit them in the end, even if it’s a difficult task. 

Maybe Sex Isn’t the Problem

On another hand, Kuperberg, assistant professor of sociology at the University of North Carolina, reports that “It turns out that cohabitation doesn’t cause divorce and probably never did.” According to Kuperberg, “What leads to divorce is when people move in with someone before they have the maturity and experience to choose compatible partners and to conduct themselves in ways that can sustain a long-term relationship.” So maybe abstinence doesn’t matter. Maybe the problem is that people in their early twenties move in together and just aren’t ready for that kind of commitment. Sex may not even make a difference in relationships. According to Kuperberg, it doesn’t.

Abstinence if For More than Just Religious People

It’s a stereotype for religious people to be abstinent, but Dr. Busby says, “regardless of religiosity, waiting helps the relationships form better communication processes and those help improve the long term stability and relationship satisfaction.” So no matter if you’re Christian, catholic, or even atheist, waiting will improve your relationship in a variety of ways.

It Takes a Lot of Work

Abstinence only works if you stick to your pledge. If you make that commitment, you have to be fully on board or you won’t be successful. It’s sort of like losing weight, some people start out really well, going to the gym every day and eating healthy. But the further they go, the harder it gets to stick to it and continue to eat healthy food and not be tempted to give up. So if people are thinking being abstinent will be hard, they thought right. At some point, it may be awful, but in the end, it will be totally worth it. They’ll be one of a kind, and some people will admire them for that.

So next time someone thinks of getting “comfortable” with someone, they need to remember the negative possibilities and the positive ones because they’ll either be filled with regret or be thankful that they were patient. Sex is sacred, we need to act like it.

Posted by Katy M.

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